Do You Know Your Proper Place?

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It's a vital principle in human relations and in life---you should know your proper place and stay in it. We are all given our lot in life. The idea is to stay there to keep safe. It's somewhat like the cities of refuge in the Old Testament designed to keep people safe, especially if they screwed up big-time.

Sadly, lots of folks are not aware of this. They get out of their boundaries and mess everything up. Like how people interfere with other people's lives uninvited. How many times have I seen mothers trying to discipline or reprove other kids who are not related to them in any way.

Teachers may discipline their pupils while in school. But even here, teachers cannot just discipline pupils not under them or when the pupils are under another teacher for another subject. They should know their proper place.

Parents have all rights to discipline their kids while they're young and dependent on them. But once they start their own lives and families, parents lose a little of that authority. They're still parents but they have to give way to how their children exercise authority in their own homes with their own kids. This is so basic and yet it's still a big issue today.

What the boss says is law at the office. But outside office hours, he ceases to be boss. This is common sense, and yet you see bosses getting out of bounds, still acting like bosses to their subordinates outside office work. There's a time to be boss and a time to be equal with everyone, no matter how high your position is, even if you are the owner of the company.

I often keep simple and quiet with most people. I'm usually just attentive listening to them, even if I see how I've attained higher formal education or career accomplishments than they have. Why? Because I'm carefully weighing things to see where I should be standing. I may be the CEO of our company and he may just be the security guard of their company, but when we're in a neutral place like a mall or park, I see ourselves equal.

You break that basic principle, you get into trouble.

Even when I was marketing and training director of a company. During those times, I never ordered our janitor to do anything personal for me. I often asked his help and did things together with him, but not ordered him around like what other people did. Some sales agents, probably because they were making big money, felt it their right to order him around. The janitor told me he felt like a slave.

I don't care if you think you're doing better or producing more than other people do. I don't care if you're the most successful guy in the world. Whoever and whatever you are, you are not exempt---you should always know your proper place and stay there.

Lots of people think their success or the amount of money and material possessions they have make them superior over others. They think it gives them the right to call the shots. And I mean, they're like that even with people who are not under them. They assume that money gives them the right to make everyone else their subordinates.

And so with "assistants." Ever heard of this story?

There's the case of the boss' assistant who usurps power just because he's close to the boss. He really believes he's also boss and expects everyone in the company to treat him thus. Just because the fly is standing over the carabao, it believes it also is a carabao.

Worse is when this assistant produces another "assistant." This little assistant will often become the worst tyrant of all.

How to Know Your Place and Stay There

To avoid being an asshole like that---standing where you shouldn't be---here are things you should remember:

1. Keep simple and quiet. "Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent," says Proverb 17.28. Simple ambitions keep you from stepping on other people's toes. I would rather wait for God to promote me than covet favors or positions. Waiting on God makes you stay in your proper place.

2. Never assume you're better or you're somebody. "Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves," says Philippians 2.3. It's better if other people praise you rather than yourself doing it [Proverbs 27.2]. If you covet recognition, you're prone to standing where you're not supposed to be.

3. Seek lower or humbler dispositions and wait to be exalted. "But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests [Luke 14.10].

I always prefer places of insignificance. That way, you either stay there or be asked to go up higher. Even if you're asked to go down lower, it wouldn't matter much. But if you assume prominence at once, you may be asked to go down lower for everyone to see.